Dear Reader,

Last night, as we sat in circle for the third week of our current workshop series, the space felt raw and tender. There was a collective awakening as the group shared that they were beginning to truly notice and name the different parts of themselves. But sitting right alongside that awareness was a heavy exhaustion. We talked about how we are still stretching ourselves thin, and how hard it can feel to actually say "no" in the moments that matter most—blocked by a myriad of old rules, fears, and conditioning. There was a deep, visceral calling to finally prioritise ourselves as much as we prioritise everyone else... and yet, there is still that frustrating feeling of being stuck.

That stuck tension can be difficult: your heart saying yes, I need to choose myself, while your mind and body locks up, feeling too unsafe to actually hold the boundary. It can be hard to say "no" because of the discomfort, guilt, or conflict that might rush in afterward. If we don’t have a sturdy way to hold ourselves through those heavy experiences, it’s easier to just keep saying "yes" and continue to minimise our own needs.

That's why the missing piece isn't just about finding more willpower—it is about learning how to create a safe, resilient container within ourselves first.

So often, we look externally for safety, boundaries, and permission. But true liberation happens when we can build that container within. It is incredibly freeing to realise that you can be the keeper of your own internal safety. And from that safety and containment, our authentic, soft and creative selves can start to shine through.

A big part of building this container is establishing your own Personal Bill of Rights.

It made me look closely at my own. If I were to map out the rights I believe I am inherently owed as a human being, they would include some of the below:

• The right to change my mind without needing a lengthy justification.
• The right to say "I don't know" or "I need time to think about that."
• The right to not be responsible for fixing or containing other people's emotion.
• The right to rest, even when the to-do list is unfinished.
• The right to make mistakes.

When I look at that list, I know without a doubt that I would wholeheartedly bestow every single one of those rights onto you, onto my friends and family, and onto the women in my circles.

But if I am being entirely honest? I still catch myself operating under a double standard.

It is so easy to grant grace to others while maintaining a rigid, covert set of rules for ourselves. We give others permission to be human, while we simultaneously expect ourselves to be superhuman—always accommodating, always "good," always available.

Unpacking these double standards and learning how to actually uphold our own Bill of Rights is exactly the deep work I'll be continuing to dive into through my offerings. If you feel a quiet tug to explore these themes in a supportive circle of women, I would love to hold space for you.

The next immersion is coming up soon, and you can find all the details and secure your spot below:

Join the next Workshop Immersion Sunday 26 July

And as you head into the weekend, I invite you to look at the rights you so easily grant to the people you love.

Are you willing to give them to yourself, too?

With love and warmth, Zac ♥

Dr Zac Elizabeth Buchanan | Clinical Psychologist​
The Return
​drzacelizabeth.com @dr.zacelizabeth​