Dear Reader,

I've been sitting with a thought lately about the hidden forces and expectations that shape us.

We grow up in a world that, either covertly or overtly, provides us with a blueprint for how we should act, what we should do, and what we should be prioritising in our lives. These messages are everywhere - they shape how we show up in our most intimate relationships, how we hold ourselves in professional spaces, and even how we navigate public spaces or a brief interaction with a stranger.

Over time, this external noise becomes an internal monologue. It's the voice of the 'shoulds'. It's the constant, quiet push of people-pleasing; the reflexive checking to ensure everyone around us is happy, cared for, and contained. We become masters of the rules and expectations, but in the process, our own true voice can be drowned out. The wisdom within us - the part of us that knows what we actually feel and believe to be valuable and worthwhile - gets clouded by the weight of being 'good' or 'enough' by someone else's standards.

And the process of unpacking these patterns isn't something you do on a simple weekend retreat; it's a lifelong process. It takes immense courage to look deeply within and ask" "is this rule mine, or was it given to me?".

It's a journey I am very much still on myself.

I feel particularly passionate about this in the realm of women's experiences. In my clinical work, and even in conversations with friends and family, I hear this theme repeatedly regardless of age or stage of life. There is so much more to this than the catchy phrases we see on social media - ideas like 'empowered', 'girl boss' or 'femme and fierce'.

While well-intentioned, those phrases can sometimes feel like just another set of prescribed ideas of what a 'successful' woman looks like. True empowerment isn't a slogan; it's a feeling and action that requires space, grace and safety to cultivate. We need a soft place to land before we begin to tune into the truth of what those statements actually mean to us.

We don't need more rules on how to be 'powerful'. We need more permission to be authentic.

And if you're local to Melbourne and feel drawn to dive deeper into these themes, I warmly invite you to join The Return - a 4-week immersion starting next month. It's designed to be that 'soft place to land' - a combination of circle work, movement and reflection.

With love and warmth, Zac ♥

Dr Zac Elizabeth Buchanan | Clinical Psychologist​
The Return
​drzacelizabeth.com @dr.zacelizabeth​